Dating and Mating

In her chapter on dating and mating, Donna Rosenthal seems to really appreciate the telling of the truth from many different points of view when it comes to Israel and sexuality. It seems fitting that she begins the chapter with a brief discussion of the conglomeration of mating rituals that have come to fruition together in Israel. It is as if she asserts that what exists today on Israel’s sex scene is a joint venture between sexual acts “formed in St. Petersburg, Baghdad, Brooklyn and Bombay…” (Rosenthal 24). Her analysis of the life of the sexually active is coupled with the idea that Israel often faces in that the view is often along the lines of a “now or never” mentality. Rosenthal shows readers that people feel as though if they do not become involved (sexually) as early as possible, they feel they may lose their lives. Her assertion is that people who are afraid most of losing their lives, because of the daily tension between Israelis and Palestinians, are more eager to be sexual earlier.

With that mentality comes a predominant theme as the rules in this area are often challenged. Questions arise which often beg to be asked. How do these views differ when dealing with different genders? How do they advance themselves when we begin to deal with Arab-Israeli relationships, or Palestinian-Israeli relationships? When does early sexual activity become sexual harassment? Does it? And where does the discussion advance when we are dealing with homosexual relationships? These questions come with the territory when discussing a country which is young, when discussing a country which is often subject to religious obligations, and when discussing a country which is in the midst of a highly damaging and constant state of warfare.

Avivit Betzalel, as Rosenthal discusses in her book, feels a separation between the rules which apply to her versus those of her brothers’. She is often frustrated and rebels against those which dictate her life, especially when it comes to sex. She claims that her older brothers can have whomever they want over to their house, but she cannot. She often sneaks out of the house to remove herself from those rules. She mentions how her older brother caught her and warned her against continuing that type of activity. He even told her that she should not join the army and serve alongside members of the opposite sex. Understandably, the inequality her parents impose between males and females and the extreme religious views of her brother would frustrate her, but is this frustration just? It does not seem as if there is a way to rightly answer that question, as everyone will have their own views, but how much of the frustration Avivit feels is because of the society in which she lives. If she were to petition her army service to do what is called Sheirut L’omi, Israel would recognize this as appropriate based on religious reasons. As Rosenthal mentions, who knew this would be an issue when the law was made to have army service be mandatory?

To bring up one last example of the current situation, it seems fitting to mention Israel’s progression when it comes to homosexuality. With that said, there is also a large delegation (among the religious) against homosexuality. Rosenthal, in a later chapter, brings up the threat of life, again, as a part of the Israeli mentality in this area. She quotes a young man who said, “‘We’re living with bombs on buses and security guards in our cafés and schools. So who cares if I live with my boyfriend?’” It is an interesting point, once again. In order to also include religious views, there are also situations where homosexuality is adamantly opposed because of the chapter in Leviticus refuting it as an appropriate Jewish relationship. With that said, Israel has laws against gay-bashing.

Below are a few clips from youtube and articles I found interesting on the topic of sexuality, marriage, and dating in Israeli society.

UN Blasts Israeli Marriage Law

A Chuppah In the Closet